So another day in another year...Where has the time gone? I'm not an overly sentimental person, never have been. Don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean I don't get overly emotional and cry at certain parts in books or movies....Its just when it happens its incredibly rare.
I tend not to form close attachments to people but that is not to say I don't have incredibly close friends, I'm just one of those people who has a small group of very close friends, and those friendships last for a very long time. I choose to love very few people in this world and perhaps that makes me come of as cold and unfeeling but I beg to differ. Growing up in the restaurant business makes it difficult to form deep attachments to people, most of the time customers come in once and you never see them again. Ever since I was a baby my whole life has been surrounded by nothing but strangers with nameless faces, is this the reason why perhaps I don't form that many deep attachments? Probably, fact is it does explain a lot. But then my father is the same so perhaps you could say its genetics. Who knows. I will say this though, it has in no way hindered me, even though I choose to love very people in my life, I found that the friends I do keep stay with me and are all incredibly loyal. So the fact of the matter is, yes indeed I think it better to have a small group of loyal friends who have earned your trust, rather then a hundred friends who aren't.
Which brings me to my point, sometimes even those loyal friends are not who you think they are, they fly under the radar. I had one such friend until about a month ago, we got on incredibly well until one day just out of the blue I received a text message saying she didn't want to be friends with me anymore. Her reason? We were no longer speaking (apparently) and it was happening anyway. All this because I had apparently not told her about a Christmas work party. Baring in mind I had quit the job last July and so had no real knowledge of said party and not to mention that she herself had left weeks before the party. I suspect that this was simply an excuse for the fact that I hadn't spoken to her over the phone over the couple of weeks prior to the text. But I will not make excuses for not calling for the simple fact that my childhood friend, one whom I had known since I was 5, had lost her mother just after Christmas, quite suddenly. A woman (may she rest in peace), who had been like a mother to me during my teenage years. So with all things considered, she was more important. I am not so hard hearted that I wouldn't be there for a friend, especially for something like this and I refuse to apologies for ignoring my other friend. Truth be told, I didn't keep in touch with a lot of people during those difficult few weeks leading up to the funeral and I will gladly do it again.
I don't look back, as I said I am not a sentimental person. But in some strange way I am quite thankful to her, they say that you learn from the people around you, that even passing strangers can have an impact on you. So I am grateful to her, while it lasted she was a very good friend. Its just a shame that it had to end the way it did....
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