As your all aware, I am not in any way, a blogger. At least until something gets to me on a level so deep that the only way I am ever going to get it off my chest is to write it down. Hell its a therapist's answer for a reason right?
So OK, admittedly its been a year (?) since I last wrote an entry (maybe even longer) and over that time I have had a lot of things thta have upset or stressed me out or even pissed me off. Today I'm afraid dear Reader it's going to be a rant day.
As you all know I am third generation Chinese restauranteur, its not something I ever saw myself get into, in fact I was and still am, determined to get as far away from it as possible, and I'll tell you why. Catering is a long and established profession that caters to you, the public and quite frankly your all shit, ok that was a little harsh but hear me out. The publics general attitude to catering is one of disdain, a waitress is treated, a lot of the time, as someone who is beneath you, they are there to serve you and in a lot of cases, for you to abuse. Now I'm not saying that all of you do that but a vast majority of you do, whether or not you realise it. In short, we're not, a lot of us are in this business to make ends meet because it is the only job we can get in an economy that has let us down and we have no other recourse but to work in this unforgiving industry. It won't ever occur to most of you that the person serving you has a degree or their studying for their PHD etc, and in the same breath you yourself want to come in and expect to be treated like the king or queen your not. I'm sorry but its not going to happen, I'm not gonna lie to you, you come into my restaurant and expect to be treated like something your not? Bu bye. I'll treat you the way you treat me as ANY decent human being would, and if you abuse my staff and expect that you have a right too then I'm sorry but all bets are off.
Why is the catering business unforgiving? Well I'll tell you, its an unforgiving sector because of you, yes you. There are no second chances in this trade, you have one bad meal then you don't go back, nevermind that it could just simply be a one off. Don't forget, a reputation takes years to build up and seconds to ruin, and with online review sites like Tripadvisor, you are now given a tool in which to vent your wrath. You take it personally, why? What possesses you people to take it personally? I have news for you...It's NOT PERSONAL. But it won't ever occur to you, I mean why should you care right? But if a death occured in your family your given allowances, us? Not so much, because bottom line is you don't care. "Oh this meal was awful, I'm never coming here again", sound familiar? As I said Tripadvisor has given you the public a tool in which to ruin other peoples business'. I don't think its occured to many of you just how many people are dependant on that one business. That one review that you wrote? You've just taken away at least £100 worth of business, that £100 that you've have effectively taken away is money that pay's my staff, money that they need just to make ends meet, and you know its not just restaurants, you do it for shops, hotels, and cafes, all because of that one single meal.
Case in point, I've just read a review that said the customers chips were cold. Now pardon me but if you were any decent customer, 1) you wouldn't be ordering CHIPS in a CHINESE restaurant, I mean really...What are you thinking? Chips don't exist in China for a start so why would you go into a Chinese restaurant and order chips and expect them to be brilliant? 2) You never complained to a single member of staff, which leads me to think that chances are you ate them all and just want a whinge and HELLO Tripadvisor. At least give the staff a chance to rectify the matter but did you do that? Like hell you did. See what I mean by no second chances?
So here's my tip, the next time you have a bad meal in a restaurant give them a frickin second chance because at the end of the day chances are its just a one off, don't be an idiot and take it personally because really? Its not. So thank you WalkerDavies for that wonderful review about chips.....Truly it was MOST helpful....
Wednesday, 23 November 2011
Tuesday, 9 March 2010
Change
I was reading the blog of a very close friend of mine and she was talking about change. Its quite a strange word really...change. Change, the dictionary defines it as, "an event that occurs when something passes from one state or phase to another, become different in essence; losing one's or its original nature" etc.
But the thing about change is, is that it is never wholly expected and in most cases, change is unwanted, even to the extent that it is feared. Change, it is funny when you think that change happens all the time and never when you expect it nor when it does happen do you even realise that change has happened. A change in routine for example. One day you decide that instead of driving down the same road to the supermarket, some force compels you to change your mind and instead of going you decide to go to the corner shop. I was talking to a friend about this and she related this story of how her mother had decided to go to a shop and instead of taking the car she decided to walk. As she walked along her road she tripped on what was apparently a broken pavement and hurt herself quite badly, forcing her to go home. It later occurred that the store she had been about to go into was bombed. Some would argue that it was not her fate to go that day and I would not argue with you, but what I find fascinating was the change in a normal routine. What made her decide to walk to the store instead of driving like she normally would?
It is such a questionable subject "Change". You can philosophise about it until the cows come home but you will never get a definitive answer as to how little changes can amount to greater things. One thing that I have noticed, especially in the last 20 years or so, is a seemingly inherent need in human beings, to change themselves. Whether for the better or not is by the by. Perhaps you could argue that it is part of a greater evolution process, but why are people so fascinated with changing themselves? Many reasons I suppose, to feel healthier, to feel better within, some even seek spiritual enlightenment.
It is such an all encompassing thing change, and the reason why I bring it up is because lately I find myself changing to. I find that I need to be more patient, something that is very hard to do in our fast pace society where everybody lives from moment to moment, Carpe Diem seems to be the byword for my generation as well as materialistic self-gratitude. I have also noticed an inner desire to be more aware of my health after visiting the Asthma clinic a few days ago. I suffer from very bad asthma, something which I suspect I was born with but it never fully developed until I started high school. But this last year I noticed that I hadn't used my inhaler once, not even during the bitter winter that we have just had. But then it hit me as to why, since last November I have taken it upon myself to lose weight and so joined a group to help sort out my eating habits and it is working. Not as quickly as I like but then losing weight was never going to be easy. Since starting I found that I had a lot more energy to burn so I began to exercise about an hour everyday. Of course there are some weeks when you just don't feel like doing it but well, I am slowly chipping away at my weight and managing to keep it off which is a miracle in itself.
I for one have never been scared of change, wary yes, because we live in a world of free choice and change is that persistent anomaly that one should always expect and factor in but never precisely know what it brings. One should always expect change but should also be wary of it simply because it is the unpredictable thread of life that can and will surprise you at every turn.
But the thing about change is, is that it is never wholly expected and in most cases, change is unwanted, even to the extent that it is feared. Change, it is funny when you think that change happens all the time and never when you expect it nor when it does happen do you even realise that change has happened. A change in routine for example. One day you decide that instead of driving down the same road to the supermarket, some force compels you to change your mind and instead of going you decide to go to the corner shop. I was talking to a friend about this and she related this story of how her mother had decided to go to a shop and instead of taking the car she decided to walk. As she walked along her road she tripped on what was apparently a broken pavement and hurt herself quite badly, forcing her to go home. It later occurred that the store she had been about to go into was bombed. Some would argue that it was not her fate to go that day and I would not argue with you, but what I find fascinating was the change in a normal routine. What made her decide to walk to the store instead of driving like she normally would?
It is such a questionable subject "Change". You can philosophise about it until the cows come home but you will never get a definitive answer as to how little changes can amount to greater things. One thing that I have noticed, especially in the last 20 years or so, is a seemingly inherent need in human beings, to change themselves. Whether for the better or not is by the by. Perhaps you could argue that it is part of a greater evolution process, but why are people so fascinated with changing themselves? Many reasons I suppose, to feel healthier, to feel better within, some even seek spiritual enlightenment.
It is such an all encompassing thing change, and the reason why I bring it up is because lately I find myself changing to. I find that I need to be more patient, something that is very hard to do in our fast pace society where everybody lives from moment to moment, Carpe Diem seems to be the byword for my generation as well as materialistic self-gratitude. I have also noticed an inner desire to be more aware of my health after visiting the Asthma clinic a few days ago. I suffer from very bad asthma, something which I suspect I was born with but it never fully developed until I started high school. But this last year I noticed that I hadn't used my inhaler once, not even during the bitter winter that we have just had. But then it hit me as to why, since last November I have taken it upon myself to lose weight and so joined a group to help sort out my eating habits and it is working. Not as quickly as I like but then losing weight was never going to be easy. Since starting I found that I had a lot more energy to burn so I began to exercise about an hour everyday. Of course there are some weeks when you just don't feel like doing it but well, I am slowly chipping away at my weight and managing to keep it off which is a miracle in itself.
I for one have never been scared of change, wary yes, because we live in a world of free choice and change is that persistent anomaly that one should always expect and factor in but never precisely know what it brings. One should always expect change but should also be wary of it simply because it is the unpredictable thread of life that can and will surprise you at every turn.
Wednesday, 3 March 2010
In with the new and out with the old...
So another day in another year...Where has the time gone? I'm not an overly sentimental person, never have been. Don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean I don't get overly emotional and cry at certain parts in books or movies....Its just when it happens its incredibly rare.
I tend not to form close attachments to people but that is not to say I don't have incredibly close friends, I'm just one of those people who has a small group of very close friends, and those friendships last for a very long time. I choose to love very few people in this world and perhaps that makes me come of as cold and unfeeling but I beg to differ. Growing up in the restaurant business makes it difficult to form deep attachments to people, most of the time customers come in once and you never see them again. Ever since I was a baby my whole life has been surrounded by nothing but strangers with nameless faces, is this the reason why perhaps I don't form that many deep attachments? Probably, fact is it does explain a lot. But then my father is the same so perhaps you could say its genetics. Who knows. I will say this though, it has in no way hindered me, even though I choose to love very people in my life, I found that the friends I do keep stay with me and are all incredibly loyal. So the fact of the matter is, yes indeed I think it better to have a small group of loyal friends who have earned your trust, rather then a hundred friends who aren't.
Which brings me to my point, sometimes even those loyal friends are not who you think they are, they fly under the radar. I had one such friend until about a month ago, we got on incredibly well until one day just out of the blue I received a text message saying she didn't want to be friends with me anymore. Her reason? We were no longer speaking (apparently) and it was happening anyway. All this because I had apparently not told her about a Christmas work party. Baring in mind I had quit the job last July and so had no real knowledge of said party and not to mention that she herself had left weeks before the party. I suspect that this was simply an excuse for the fact that I hadn't spoken to her over the phone over the couple of weeks prior to the text. But I will not make excuses for not calling for the simple fact that my childhood friend, one whom I had known since I was 5, had lost her mother just after Christmas, quite suddenly. A woman (may she rest in peace), who had been like a mother to me during my teenage years. So with all things considered, she was more important. I am not so hard hearted that I wouldn't be there for a friend, especially for something like this and I refuse to apologies for ignoring my other friend. Truth be told, I didn't keep in touch with a lot of people during those difficult few weeks leading up to the funeral and I will gladly do it again.
I don't look back, as I said I am not a sentimental person. But in some strange way I am quite thankful to her, they say that you learn from the people around you, that even passing strangers can have an impact on you. So I am grateful to her, while it lasted she was a very good friend. Its just a shame that it had to end the way it did....
I tend not to form close attachments to people but that is not to say I don't have incredibly close friends, I'm just one of those people who has a small group of very close friends, and those friendships last for a very long time. I choose to love very few people in this world and perhaps that makes me come of as cold and unfeeling but I beg to differ. Growing up in the restaurant business makes it difficult to form deep attachments to people, most of the time customers come in once and you never see them again. Ever since I was a baby my whole life has been surrounded by nothing but strangers with nameless faces, is this the reason why perhaps I don't form that many deep attachments? Probably, fact is it does explain a lot. But then my father is the same so perhaps you could say its genetics. Who knows. I will say this though, it has in no way hindered me, even though I choose to love very people in my life, I found that the friends I do keep stay with me and are all incredibly loyal. So the fact of the matter is, yes indeed I think it better to have a small group of loyal friends who have earned your trust, rather then a hundred friends who aren't.
Which brings me to my point, sometimes even those loyal friends are not who you think they are, they fly under the radar. I had one such friend until about a month ago, we got on incredibly well until one day just out of the blue I received a text message saying she didn't want to be friends with me anymore. Her reason? We were no longer speaking (apparently) and it was happening anyway. All this because I had apparently not told her about a Christmas work party. Baring in mind I had quit the job last July and so had no real knowledge of said party and not to mention that she herself had left weeks before the party. I suspect that this was simply an excuse for the fact that I hadn't spoken to her over the phone over the couple of weeks prior to the text. But I will not make excuses for not calling for the simple fact that my childhood friend, one whom I had known since I was 5, had lost her mother just after Christmas, quite suddenly. A woman (may she rest in peace), who had been like a mother to me during my teenage years. So with all things considered, she was more important. I am not so hard hearted that I wouldn't be there for a friend, especially for something like this and I refuse to apologies for ignoring my other friend. Truth be told, I didn't keep in touch with a lot of people during those difficult few weeks leading up to the funeral and I will gladly do it again.
I don't look back, as I said I am not a sentimental person. But in some strange way I am quite thankful to her, they say that you learn from the people around you, that even passing strangers can have an impact on you. So I am grateful to her, while it lasted she was a very good friend. Its just a shame that it had to end the way it did....
Saturday, 19 December 2009
I am going to say this once and once only...
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS GETTING SOMETHING FOR FREE! SO KINDLY DON'T EXPECT IT.
What is it with people and trying to get something for nothing? Have we become, as humans, so selfish and so self important that we've started expecting things for free?! All I can say to the nation is...Fuck off, because if you go through life expecting things for free you are going to be bitterly disappointed.
I for one would never dream of going into a restaurant, ordering a cheapy meal and expect a damn lobster, and since we're on the subject, don't ever go into a Chinese restaurant and expect the Prawn Crackers to be free...In case you haven't realised there is a thing called "Hidden Costs".
It absolutely boggles my mind, yes I understand we're in the middle of an economic crisis of titanic proportions and everyone is trying to save money...But in case it has escaped your notice...People working in restaurants have families that need feeding too. But of course we're all so selfish that we don't care about other people, and how they'll survive. But roll on Children's in Need and Red Nose day and suddenly EVERY one has a conscience. Don't get me wrong, I think what these charities do is incredibly generous. What I'm trying to say is that people have become so wrapped up in themselves that something as simple as going to a restaurant becomes a game of "how much can we get off from the bill".
Case in point, tonight we had a table for two. The dad even came in beforehand and before we had even said hello, he wanted to know if we had any specials on...Alarm bells start to ring. But in fact we did so in he came with his one son and ordered the special as well as a duck...Oh and prawn crackers in case you missed the earlier point. As is typical of people like this...They know..to the pound, just how much the bill should be. Course he was under the impression that the crackers were free...WRONG. Obviously he missed the little man called common sense in his head that told him that the restaurant have to pay to get said crackers, with their own money, in order to give to said customer. What the hell gives you the right to assume that prawn crackers are free in every restaurant? I've got news for you, they ain't free. In case it's escaped your notice but...I have to live and eat too, the same goes for my family...and the chef and his family.
You may not realise it but this country absolutely positively does not like small business', and its us that are being the worse hit by the credit crunch. But we're not getting any help, instead we're getting taxed until we're literally bleeding blood.
Seriously though, I can't in all fairness entirely blame the credit crunch, because this growing trend of people trying to get something for nothing has been growing for at least the last 5 or 6 years, but, the credit crunch has exacerbated the issue. In fact here's a tip...when your going to complain that there is a hair in your food...Check to make sure that the hair is the same damn colour as the waitress'. Having a blond hair in your food in a Chinese restaurant where chances are the whole staff is going to be Chinese...Just won't work.
Actually, you know what? Better still...if you want a cheap meal..Fucking stay at home and cook for yourself, because you won't even get a takeaway for as cheap. Consumers forget, its called paying for stock. Sure we can make it cheaper for you but you need to remember that you get what you paid for. Don't expect to pay £7.50 for two courses and expect to get prawns, or hell, even steak...Because if you go to the butchers or hell, even the supermarket, I can guarantee you that you couldn't even buy a steak for £7.50 PLUS trimmings, so don't come to a restaurant expecting it to be the same.
And while we're on the subject of same...I find it incredibly funny when customers come in expecting ALL Chinese Restaurants to cook the same and have the same sort of food. You give me 10 different chefs, all with the same ingredients and expect them all to cook the same food, and I guarantee that you will get 10 different flavours...FACT. So get over it. If you like a particular restaurant over another then bloody well go to that restaurant. Its that damn simple. I do not want to serve someone who has an expectation of the food being EXACTLY the same as anothers restaurant...there is a reason why the two restaurants have different names. In fact, the implication that your giving is in actual fact just this side of racist...So ALL Chinese, Italian, Indian restaurants have to cook EXACTLY the same and have EXACTLY the same tastes? Please, that is completely and utterly ridiculous and highly impossible. Do not under any circumstances go to a restaurant with a pre-conceived idea because you will be disappointed and the whole experience is doomed to failure before you even give it a chance.
We Restaurateurs, bottom line? We don't stand a chance. Here we are trying to make an honest living, and quite frankly, the whole damn population is making it incredibly hard for all of us to pay for our own damn food, let alone make a living. We just can't seem to please you people any more its always...Oh this is too salty...or this is not salty enough...my favourite is the "where's my food we've been waiting ages?"...Actually you've been waiting five minutes and we're not a fast food joint so sit your ass down and shut up. Or we had a customer today who complained it was cold...despite the fact that she was actually sitting quite near the air conditioner...and she was the only one who kept her coat on and complained it was cold...Chances are love your probably coming down with something because you were the only one to complain, I'd go see a doctor if I were you.
All I am asking is for a LITTLE consideration...its not like I'm asking you to take over the world for me. Next time you plan to go out, don't you DARE go out thinking "right how much do you think we can get off the bill tonight?", once that little seed is in your head you need to start thinking well OK, If I do do this...will I be depriving someone of their meal...Because chances are the answer to that question is a big old YES you will be depriving someone of their meal. On that note...You ought to be ashamed of yourself for even thinking such a thing!
One last gripe...There is a growing trend amongst you of booking...in advance...to 3 or 4 different restaurants for a particular night and then deciding on the night which one to go too because hey, your booked in...here's a tip..DON'T. Chances are, nowadays, you probably don't even need to book because there will be some people who don't bother to call to cancel a table. Kindly factor in when you are booking a table, the time and effort it takes to get the table ready. Also, if you have NO intention of turning up, don't book a table and then call on the day to add more people, then not turn up...That's just rude...and Yes I said it...YOUR ALL RUDE!
Signing off disappointed and disgusted with the inconsiderate consumers amongst you.
What is it with people and trying to get something for nothing? Have we become, as humans, so selfish and so self important that we've started expecting things for free?! All I can say to the nation is...Fuck off, because if you go through life expecting things for free you are going to be bitterly disappointed.
I for one would never dream of going into a restaurant, ordering a cheapy meal and expect a damn lobster, and since we're on the subject, don't ever go into a Chinese restaurant and expect the Prawn Crackers to be free...In case you haven't realised there is a thing called "Hidden Costs".
It absolutely boggles my mind, yes I understand we're in the middle of an economic crisis of titanic proportions and everyone is trying to save money...But in case it has escaped your notice...People working in restaurants have families that need feeding too. But of course we're all so selfish that we don't care about other people, and how they'll survive. But roll on Children's in Need and Red Nose day and suddenly EVERY one has a conscience. Don't get me wrong, I think what these charities do is incredibly generous. What I'm trying to say is that people have become so wrapped up in themselves that something as simple as going to a restaurant becomes a game of "how much can we get off from the bill".
Case in point, tonight we had a table for two. The dad even came in beforehand and before we had even said hello, he wanted to know if we had any specials on...Alarm bells start to ring. But in fact we did so in he came with his one son and ordered the special as well as a duck...Oh and prawn crackers in case you missed the earlier point. As is typical of people like this...They know..to the pound, just how much the bill should be. Course he was under the impression that the crackers were free...WRONG. Obviously he missed the little man called common sense in his head that told him that the restaurant have to pay to get said crackers, with their own money, in order to give to said customer. What the hell gives you the right to assume that prawn crackers are free in every restaurant? I've got news for you, they ain't free. In case it's escaped your notice but...I have to live and eat too, the same goes for my family...and the chef and his family.
You may not realise it but this country absolutely positively does not like small business', and its us that are being the worse hit by the credit crunch. But we're not getting any help, instead we're getting taxed until we're literally bleeding blood.
Seriously though, I can't in all fairness entirely blame the credit crunch, because this growing trend of people trying to get something for nothing has been growing for at least the last 5 or 6 years, but, the credit crunch has exacerbated the issue. In fact here's a tip...when your going to complain that there is a hair in your food...Check to make sure that the hair is the same damn colour as the waitress'. Having a blond hair in your food in a Chinese restaurant where chances are the whole staff is going to be Chinese...Just won't work.
Actually, you know what? Better still...if you want a cheap meal..Fucking stay at home and cook for yourself, because you won't even get a takeaway for as cheap. Consumers forget, its called paying for stock. Sure we can make it cheaper for you but you need to remember that you get what you paid for. Don't expect to pay £7.50 for two courses and expect to get prawns, or hell, even steak...Because if you go to the butchers or hell, even the supermarket, I can guarantee you that you couldn't even buy a steak for £7.50 PLUS trimmings, so don't come to a restaurant expecting it to be the same.
And while we're on the subject of same...I find it incredibly funny when customers come in expecting ALL Chinese Restaurants to cook the same and have the same sort of food. You give me 10 different chefs, all with the same ingredients and expect them all to cook the same food, and I guarantee that you will get 10 different flavours...FACT. So get over it. If you like a particular restaurant over another then bloody well go to that restaurant. Its that damn simple. I do not want to serve someone who has an expectation of the food being EXACTLY the same as anothers restaurant...there is a reason why the two restaurants have different names. In fact, the implication that your giving is in actual fact just this side of racist...So ALL Chinese, Italian, Indian restaurants have to cook EXACTLY the same and have EXACTLY the same tastes? Please, that is completely and utterly ridiculous and highly impossible. Do not under any circumstances go to a restaurant with a pre-conceived idea because you will be disappointed and the whole experience is doomed to failure before you even give it a chance.
We Restaurateurs, bottom line? We don't stand a chance. Here we are trying to make an honest living, and quite frankly, the whole damn population is making it incredibly hard for all of us to pay for our own damn food, let alone make a living. We just can't seem to please you people any more its always...Oh this is too salty...or this is not salty enough...my favourite is the "where's my food we've been waiting ages?"...Actually you've been waiting five minutes and we're not a fast food joint so sit your ass down and shut up. Or we had a customer today who complained it was cold...despite the fact that she was actually sitting quite near the air conditioner...and she was the only one who kept her coat on and complained it was cold...Chances are love your probably coming down with something because you were the only one to complain, I'd go see a doctor if I were you.
All I am asking is for a LITTLE consideration...its not like I'm asking you to take over the world for me. Next time you plan to go out, don't you DARE go out thinking "right how much do you think we can get off the bill tonight?", once that little seed is in your head you need to start thinking well OK, If I do do this...will I be depriving someone of their meal...Because chances are the answer to that question is a big old YES you will be depriving someone of their meal. On that note...You ought to be ashamed of yourself for even thinking such a thing!
One last gripe...There is a growing trend amongst you of booking...in advance...to 3 or 4 different restaurants for a particular night and then deciding on the night which one to go too because hey, your booked in...here's a tip..DON'T. Chances are, nowadays, you probably don't even need to book because there will be some people who don't bother to call to cancel a table. Kindly factor in when you are booking a table, the time and effort it takes to get the table ready. Also, if you have NO intention of turning up, don't book a table and then call on the day to add more people, then not turn up...That's just rude...and Yes I said it...YOUR ALL RUDE!
Signing off disappointed and disgusted with the inconsiderate consumers amongst you.
Sunday, 6 December 2009
Kids, Morals and a Possible future?
You know its a funny thing where you can get inspiration and ideas from, books, paintings...TV. Like this blog for instance, I have a head full of ideas about what to write but I need to mull it through my mind before I can write it down...otherwise it becomes a jumbled mess...Like my last blog.
Strangely enough watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory has triggered a particular pet peeve of mine. Children...or rather their parents and the lack of discipline that is rampant in todays society, especially here in the UK. How did we, as people, reach the point in society where everything has become about "me", we're all selfish, I think that will always be a part of human nature, but there are some things that you just can't be selfish over, and your kids are one of them. Honestly, if your not willing to give 100% of yourself to your children then chances are good that you shouldn't have them.
The world is made up of checks and balances, we learn early on that every action has a reaction, that if you do wrong there will be a consequence. But it seems that for many parents these days, they seem to have little or no control over their own children. Don't get me wrong, I'm not preaching and telling you that you should smack your children but...I do think that you need to have a whole arsenal of weapons under your belt. The same punishment will never work on two different children. For instance, one child could be susceptible to say...the naughty step, but on another taking away a beloved toy could be more effective. However, I am a big believer in watching for the signs and using a firm tone of voice, too many parents its seems use the.."no don't do that...no that's naughty" in a tone of voice that is incredibly passive. How difficult is it really to just say "NO". You don't need to shout or scream just put a bit more force in your voice.
I recently read a very interesting article on the BBC website, there is actually a parent helpline and this year in particular saw a rise in the number of telephone calls they were receiving from parents who were scared of their own children. Now correct me if I'm wrong but...when your 14 year old teenager threatens you with a knife...theres a problem. The thing is, as much as we like to ALWAYS blame the parents (and 9 times out of 10 it normally is), you can't completely blame them for everything. Society is in such a state that parents are constantly working to provide for their children and therefore time is incredibly limited. Therefore it comes as no surprise that parents have been conditioned to spend all their time working and very little time is spent with their children. But what is most shocking is that an increasing number of parents are scared of children as young as 2. What is a two year old doing threatening their parents?! Am I wrong in thinking that this sort of thing even say...a decade ago, would have been.,..unfathomable.
When a 2 year old child begins to threaten their own mum and dad, it shows that there is something clearly fundamentally wrong in society today. The thing is...Children know their rights, even children as young as 7. Respect is no longer a right as an older person, and yes respect ought to be earned and not given HOWEVER, certain forms of respect should never ever be disregarded, especially if adults are to be able to handle children. The respect I am talking about is that of parent to child, the lost respect that a younger generation has for an older generation. Values and morals no longer seem to have any bearing in society, hence the me me me culture that thrives on keeping up with the Jones, the "always wanting more" that the government and society have told us to become.
I know I am not on my own when I say that I don't WANT to live in a world where it is all about me and what I want or what I deserve. Is it so hard to want to live in a world where I don't have to worry about being scared of my own child? or a world that actually respects their fellow man? Probably, because in a way my way of thinking is too simplistic. In a way we can't ever go back to the way things used to be, because we are all so scared of what is out there that we are beginning to be scared of our own shadow. Everyday we see new warnings on TV, in newspapers and billboards causing us to be more scared, more paranoid. Will we soon be living in a future where we become so scared that we're not even able to go outside? Its certainly something to think about.
Strangely enough watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory has triggered a particular pet peeve of mine. Children...or rather their parents and the lack of discipline that is rampant in todays society, especially here in the UK. How did we, as people, reach the point in society where everything has become about "me", we're all selfish, I think that will always be a part of human nature, but there are some things that you just can't be selfish over, and your kids are one of them. Honestly, if your not willing to give 100% of yourself to your children then chances are good that you shouldn't have them.
The world is made up of checks and balances, we learn early on that every action has a reaction, that if you do wrong there will be a consequence. But it seems that for many parents these days, they seem to have little or no control over their own children. Don't get me wrong, I'm not preaching and telling you that you should smack your children but...I do think that you need to have a whole arsenal of weapons under your belt. The same punishment will never work on two different children. For instance, one child could be susceptible to say...the naughty step, but on another taking away a beloved toy could be more effective. However, I am a big believer in watching for the signs and using a firm tone of voice, too many parents its seems use the.."no don't do that...no that's naughty" in a tone of voice that is incredibly passive. How difficult is it really to just say "NO". You don't need to shout or scream just put a bit more force in your voice.
I recently read a very interesting article on the BBC website, there is actually a parent helpline and this year in particular saw a rise in the number of telephone calls they were receiving from parents who were scared of their own children. Now correct me if I'm wrong but...when your 14 year old teenager threatens you with a knife...theres a problem. The thing is, as much as we like to ALWAYS blame the parents (and 9 times out of 10 it normally is), you can't completely blame them for everything. Society is in such a state that parents are constantly working to provide for their children and therefore time is incredibly limited. Therefore it comes as no surprise that parents have been conditioned to spend all their time working and very little time is spent with their children. But what is most shocking is that an increasing number of parents are scared of children as young as 2. What is a two year old doing threatening their parents?! Am I wrong in thinking that this sort of thing even say...a decade ago, would have been.,..unfathomable.
When a 2 year old child begins to threaten their own mum and dad, it shows that there is something clearly fundamentally wrong in society today. The thing is...Children know their rights, even children as young as 7. Respect is no longer a right as an older person, and yes respect ought to be earned and not given HOWEVER, certain forms of respect should never ever be disregarded, especially if adults are to be able to handle children. The respect I am talking about is that of parent to child, the lost respect that a younger generation has for an older generation. Values and morals no longer seem to have any bearing in society, hence the me me me culture that thrives on keeping up with the Jones, the "always wanting more" that the government and society have told us to become.
I know I am not on my own when I say that I don't WANT to live in a world where it is all about me and what I want or what I deserve. Is it so hard to want to live in a world where I don't have to worry about being scared of my own child? or a world that actually respects their fellow man? Probably, because in a way my way of thinking is too simplistic. In a way we can't ever go back to the way things used to be, because we are all so scared of what is out there that we are beginning to be scared of our own shadow. Everyday we see new warnings on TV, in newspapers and billboards causing us to be more scared, more paranoid. Will we soon be living in a future where we become so scared that we're not even able to go outside? Its certainly something to think about.
Tuesday, 1 December 2009
Been a while, hadn't had a decent bee under my bonnet in over a week, hence the quietness of this blog.
Although now is probably a good time to talk about some of our customers (saying that I'd like to warn people that although I am not above naming and shaming, in this case it would be most prudent to use a little discretion).
The restaurant has been open now for nearly thirty years and it sits in quite a picturesque little town in the north, (a town which, incidentally, has just celebrated its 800th anniversary). Thankfully, our restaurant doesn't get that many of what I would like to call "finicky" customers, we have survived thus far because we are known as the "local" restaurant. Thankfully most of our customers are absolutely lovely. The "finicky" ones, are the ones who hardly ever come out to eat, or big business men who expect to be treated like the king's and queen's they clearly think they are...WRONG.
Quite frankly unless you have HRH in front of your name and an entourage following you calling you "your majesty" or "your highness" you will not be treated like royalty. I was not brought up to pander to the ego's of those who have done nothing worthwhile and yet still expect to be treated like their special. Here's the rub, your about as special as everyone else...Catch my drift? One thing that I have noticed over the years, and this includes working in retail for a while, (I'd like to point out that most people don't, but you do get the occasional few), they seem to think that because your merely a waitress or working in sales (the politically correct term for this nowadays is "sales advisor"), they need to speak slower because apparently you don't have a brain. (Of course you do get the odd few that genuinely don't but that's a blog for another day, and in all honesty, their not dumb, just lazy). Please can we stop with all the stereotyping? I don't go around saying "me so solly", so kindly don't expect me too.
Now, getting back on topic since it seems I've gone off on a bit of a tangent. A few weeks back we had two pretty big tables booked, and I would like to point out that in this credit crunch time people don't quite seem to realise that the first thing they stop doing when there is no money available is go out to eat, unless it has been pointed out to them (then its a case of "oh yeah"). Now we had one huge table for 50 people and another for, well, it was booked for 25 but only 19 turned up. Can I just say that smaller table was double the work of the big table. Here's a tip, when your ordering, never EVER order for everyone without prior consultation, especially if its a set dinner that no one else has even seen, because there will always always be at least one person who will be a fussy eater, and guess what? The person who booked the table, ordered for everyone, he ordered 15 set meals and 2 vegetarian set dinners. Now whichever way you look at it, thats 17 set dinners...so obviously there won't be enough, no matter which way you look at it, if he had ordered 16 then yes you can argue it will stretch. But, won't be told, at the end of the day I can only say so much and I can only take to the kitchen what you, yourself have ordered.
Of course everything was wrong, the food was bad (despite the fact that they ate EVERY thing, practically licking the plate clean), service was bad (which quite frankly they were told beforehand that service would be slow, especially since we were unexpectedly understaffed since my mother had suddenly taken ill, in fact ratio wise it worked out that there was about 20 people to one waiter/-ress). The worst was one of the vegetarians, now 9 times out of 10 vegetarians are not a problem, but you do get the odd one who uses vegetarianism as an excuse to hide their awkwardness. This particular one, just wanted chips...all she wanted. So we gave her the chips, she sent them back because apparently they were "cremated" on the outside, and "cold" on the inside...How in the good lord is that even possible when you fry chips in oil???? (Actually they weren't cold at all, they were still warm, which considering she was sitting in front of the door and went out for a cigarette shouldn't really be that surprising). So they demanded we give them 15% discount, not asked, but demanded and it was said in such as way as if to say we were doing them a favour, bottom line? Never met a more patronising person, typical characteristic of someone who is used to getting it all without actually working for it, the type of person who the world must bow down too and worship.
Of course it didn't end there...the person who booked wasn't actually the person who paid. So, another round of apologies, but by this point I had had enough, it was close to midnight and I had been in work since 7am I just want my bed. Of course he wasn't happy, food was bad, service blah blah blah. There was the usual we're not coming here again, so. as I said, by this point I had had enough so I said "well that's your privilege", thereby implying that I really couldn't give a monkeys, which I didn't. "Well then your reputation in this town will go down hill", HA! I have news for you boyo, the reason why we;ve stayed open for nearly 30 years is because of the local people, so heres a parting shot, I don't WANT you back thank you very much!
Although now is probably a good time to talk about some of our customers (saying that I'd like to warn people that although I am not above naming and shaming, in this case it would be most prudent to use a little discretion).
The restaurant has been open now for nearly thirty years and it sits in quite a picturesque little town in the north, (a town which, incidentally, has just celebrated its 800th anniversary). Thankfully, our restaurant doesn't get that many of what I would like to call "finicky" customers, we have survived thus far because we are known as the "local" restaurant. Thankfully most of our customers are absolutely lovely. The "finicky" ones, are the ones who hardly ever come out to eat, or big business men who expect to be treated like the king's and queen's they clearly think they are...WRONG.
Quite frankly unless you have HRH in front of your name and an entourage following you calling you "your majesty" or "your highness" you will not be treated like royalty. I was not brought up to pander to the ego's of those who have done nothing worthwhile and yet still expect to be treated like their special. Here's the rub, your about as special as everyone else...Catch my drift? One thing that I have noticed over the years, and this includes working in retail for a while, (I'd like to point out that most people don't, but you do get the occasional few), they seem to think that because your merely a waitress or working in sales (the politically correct term for this nowadays is "sales advisor"), they need to speak slower because apparently you don't have a brain. (Of course you do get the odd few that genuinely don't but that's a blog for another day, and in all honesty, their not dumb, just lazy). Please can we stop with all the stereotyping? I don't go around saying "me so solly", so kindly don't expect me too.
Now, getting back on topic since it seems I've gone off on a bit of a tangent. A few weeks back we had two pretty big tables booked, and I would like to point out that in this credit crunch time people don't quite seem to realise that the first thing they stop doing when there is no money available is go out to eat, unless it has been pointed out to them (then its a case of "oh yeah"). Now we had one huge table for 50 people and another for, well, it was booked for 25 but only 19 turned up. Can I just say that smaller table was double the work of the big table. Here's a tip, when your ordering, never EVER order for everyone without prior consultation, especially if its a set dinner that no one else has even seen, because there will always always be at least one person who will be a fussy eater, and guess what? The person who booked the table, ordered for everyone, he ordered 15 set meals and 2 vegetarian set dinners. Now whichever way you look at it, thats 17 set dinners...so obviously there won't be enough, no matter which way you look at it, if he had ordered 16 then yes you can argue it will stretch. But, won't be told, at the end of the day I can only say so much and I can only take to the kitchen what you, yourself have ordered.
Of course everything was wrong, the food was bad (despite the fact that they ate EVERY thing, practically licking the plate clean), service was bad (which quite frankly they were told beforehand that service would be slow, especially since we were unexpectedly understaffed since my mother had suddenly taken ill, in fact ratio wise it worked out that there was about 20 people to one waiter/-ress). The worst was one of the vegetarians, now 9 times out of 10 vegetarians are not a problem, but you do get the odd one who uses vegetarianism as an excuse to hide their awkwardness. This particular one, just wanted chips...all she wanted. So we gave her the chips, she sent them back because apparently they were "cremated" on the outside, and "cold" on the inside...How in the good lord is that even possible when you fry chips in oil???? (Actually they weren't cold at all, they were still warm, which considering she was sitting in front of the door and went out for a cigarette shouldn't really be that surprising). So they demanded we give them 15% discount, not asked, but demanded and it was said in such as way as if to say we were doing them a favour, bottom line? Never met a more patronising person, typical characteristic of someone who is used to getting it all without actually working for it, the type of person who the world must bow down too and worship.
Of course it didn't end there...the person who booked wasn't actually the person who paid. So, another round of apologies, but by this point I had had enough, it was close to midnight and I had been in work since 7am I just want my bed. Of course he wasn't happy, food was bad, service blah blah blah. There was the usual we're not coming here again, so. as I said, by this point I had had enough so I said "well that's your privilege", thereby implying that I really couldn't give a monkeys, which I didn't. "Well then your reputation in this town will go down hill", HA! I have news for you boyo, the reason why we;ve stayed open for nearly 30 years is because of the local people, so heres a parting shot, I don't WANT you back thank you very much!
Sunday, 22 November 2009
Bring back common sense
So, was talking to one of my oldest friends today who happens to work in a pre-school, she was telling me all about Political Correctness and the things that she can and can't do. For instance, no child is allowed to lose...
Now correct me if I am wrong but isn't that sending out the wrong message to a whole generation of children? Whether you as parents like it or not, life is never fair, not by a long shot. But a small minority of you and the government (because those in power are quite frankly stupid enough to listen to you), are effectively telling your children that they will win at everything life. The only good thing that this will achieve is a rise in the number of therapists and psychologists wishing to earn a living. Life is not fair, life is a gift given to you by whoever you believe in to teach you lessons, to teach you how to be strong. My own personal belief is that one should live life to the best of their abilities, to make the most of what is given to you (whether you do or not is entirely up to you, which is why we are given free will). Now whether or not you agree is beside the point, what I am doing is using this example to demonstrate that Political Correctness has gone too far.
Further proof is nursery rhymes, my friend was telling me that she wasn't allowed to sing Baa Baa Black Sheep, and instead had to sing Baa Baa White Sheep. How did a simple nursery rhyme that is AGE old, become racist? Now correct me if I am wrong but...Don't we have black sheep and white sheep? Do you go out to fields and see sheep's segregating from each other because of the colour of their wool? No, you don't. But the heart of is, is that it is considered racist. But, if we are going by this line of reasoning, isn't it just as racist to sing Baa Baa White Sheep? I mean after all, the point still stands, white is still a colour, still a race. Reverse racism doesn't work, by its own definition its racist. Now I myself am Chinese and I find the whole concept not only appalling but quite laughable. It is again sending the wrong message to children. I personally have never used the colour of my skin to start arguments, used it like it should be something that people should be aware off. All I ask is that you treat me as a PERSON, a person with opinions and a brain, a person whom you would treat your friend or an acquaintance. I don't want to be treated specially because of something as irrelevant as the colour of my skin, treat me on my abilities its as simple as that (of course there will always be those who are ignorant and don't know any better which case chances are they aren't educated enough).
Another nursery rhyme that quite simply put, astounds me, is Humpty Dumpty. Now correct me if I am wrong, but isn't Humpty Dumpty...an Egg? If he is, then please explain to me how an egg can be offensive to fat people?! This GENUINELY astounds me, I absolutely cannot put my head around a simple egg being offensive to fat people. People PLEASE use your head! Where has the common sense in this world gone?
It is an appalling state of affairs when the public no longer use their own head and instead have a sheep mentality. Why were we given the ability to think if people don't use their brains? Its what its there for. Society has certainly gone down hill in the last few decades and I for one am sorry for it, we have become selfish, out for what we can get for OUR selves, those pockets of selflessness are unfortunately now few and far between. Have we as a nation become so self involved and so materialistic that we have forgotten what it is like to sit around a dinner table as a family to discuss the day? or take a day out and do nothing? Personally, I think it has and I am sorry for it.
(as a side note I would also like to add that the stupidity of people will always astound me...Today I discovered that someone had stolen the back windscreen wiper of my car. Just goes to show that people will steal anything nowadays. Incidentally, the jokes on whoever stole it because the wiper needed replacing any ways)
Now correct me if I am wrong but isn't that sending out the wrong message to a whole generation of children? Whether you as parents like it or not, life is never fair, not by a long shot. But a small minority of you and the government (because those in power are quite frankly stupid enough to listen to you), are effectively telling your children that they will win at everything life. The only good thing that this will achieve is a rise in the number of therapists and psychologists wishing to earn a living. Life is not fair, life is a gift given to you by whoever you believe in to teach you lessons, to teach you how to be strong. My own personal belief is that one should live life to the best of their abilities, to make the most of what is given to you (whether you do or not is entirely up to you, which is why we are given free will). Now whether or not you agree is beside the point, what I am doing is using this example to demonstrate that Political Correctness has gone too far.
Further proof is nursery rhymes, my friend was telling me that she wasn't allowed to sing Baa Baa Black Sheep, and instead had to sing Baa Baa White Sheep. How did a simple nursery rhyme that is AGE old, become racist? Now correct me if I am wrong but...Don't we have black sheep and white sheep? Do you go out to fields and see sheep's segregating from each other because of the colour of their wool? No, you don't. But the heart of is, is that it is considered racist. But, if we are going by this line of reasoning, isn't it just as racist to sing Baa Baa White Sheep? I mean after all, the point still stands, white is still a colour, still a race. Reverse racism doesn't work, by its own definition its racist. Now I myself am Chinese and I find the whole concept not only appalling but quite laughable. It is again sending the wrong message to children. I personally have never used the colour of my skin to start arguments, used it like it should be something that people should be aware off. All I ask is that you treat me as a PERSON, a person with opinions and a brain, a person whom you would treat your friend or an acquaintance. I don't want to be treated specially because of something as irrelevant as the colour of my skin, treat me on my abilities its as simple as that (of course there will always be those who are ignorant and don't know any better which case chances are they aren't educated enough).
Another nursery rhyme that quite simply put, astounds me, is Humpty Dumpty. Now correct me if I am wrong, but isn't Humpty Dumpty...an Egg? If he is, then please explain to me how an egg can be offensive to fat people?! This GENUINELY astounds me, I absolutely cannot put my head around a simple egg being offensive to fat people. People PLEASE use your head! Where has the common sense in this world gone?
It is an appalling state of affairs when the public no longer use their own head and instead have a sheep mentality. Why were we given the ability to think if people don't use their brains? Its what its there for. Society has certainly gone down hill in the last few decades and I for one am sorry for it, we have become selfish, out for what we can get for OUR selves, those pockets of selflessness are unfortunately now few and far between. Have we as a nation become so self involved and so materialistic that we have forgotten what it is like to sit around a dinner table as a family to discuss the day? or take a day out and do nothing? Personally, I think it has and I am sorry for it.
(as a side note I would also like to add that the stupidity of people will always astound me...Today I discovered that someone had stolen the back windscreen wiper of my car. Just goes to show that people will steal anything nowadays. Incidentally, the jokes on whoever stole it because the wiper needed replacing any ways)
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