Change

I was reading the blog of a very close friend of mine and she was talking about change. Its quite a strange word really...change. Change, the dictionary defines it as, "an event that occurs when something passes from one state or phase to another, become different in essence; losing one's or its original nature" etc.

But the thing about change is, is that it is never wholly expected and in most cases, change is unwanted, even to the extent that it is feared. Change, it is funny when you think that change happens all the time and never when you expect it nor when it does happen do you even realise that change has happened. A change in routine for example. One day you decide that instead of driving down the same road to the supermarket, some force compels you to change your mind and instead of going you decide to go to the corner shop. I was talking to a friend about this and she related this story of how her mother had decided to go to a shop and instead of taking the car she decided to walk. As she walked along her road she tripped on what was apparently a broken pavement and hurt herself quite badly, forcing her to go home. It later occurred that the store she had been about to go into was bombed. Some would argue that it was not her fate to go that day and I would not argue with you, but what I find fascinating was the change in a normal routine. What made her decide to walk to the store instead of driving like she normally would?

It is such a questionable subject "Change". You can philosophise about it until the cows come home but you will never get a definitive answer as to how little changes can amount to greater things. One thing that I have noticed, especially in the last 20 years or so, is a seemingly inherent need in human beings, to change themselves. Whether for the better or not is by the by. Perhaps you could argue that it is part of a greater evolution process, but why are people so fascinated with changing themselves? Many reasons I suppose, to feel healthier, to feel better within, some even seek spiritual enlightenment.

It is such an all encompassing thing change, and the reason why I bring it up is because lately I find myself changing to. I find that I need to be more patient, something that is very hard to do in our fast pace society where everybody lives from moment to moment, Carpe Diem seems to be the byword for my generation as well as materialistic self-gratitude. I have also noticed an inner desire to be more aware of my health after visiting the Asthma clinic a few days ago. I suffer from very bad asthma, something which I suspect I was born with but it never fully developed until I started high school. But this last year I noticed that I hadn't used my inhaler once, not even during the bitter winter that we have just had. But then it hit me as to why, since last November I have taken it upon myself to lose weight and so joined a group to help sort out my eating habits and it is working. Not as quickly as I like but then losing weight was never going to be easy. Since starting I found that I had a lot more energy to burn so I began to exercise about an hour everyday. Of course there are some weeks when you just don't feel like doing it but well, I am slowly chipping away at my weight and managing to keep it off which is a miracle in itself.

I for one have never been scared of change, wary yes, because we live in a world of free choice and change is that persistent anomaly that one should always expect and factor in but never precisely know what it brings. One should always expect change but should also be wary of it simply because it is the unpredictable thread of life that can and will surprise you at every turn.